Okay, I really don’t know what I am doing, but that doesn’t matter, right? My therapist suggested that I do what I want without thinking about an end game. I have to have fun without making a list and making my fun super structured. So here I am, having fun writing freely. No judgement, no rules. I have always loved writing but I am the only one who reads my journals, diaries, poem books, Facebook rants, etc. I want to do this for fun, as an outlet to spill my thoughts out into the world. Perhaps there will be one or two people who enjoy reading.
I am going to just type what I am thinking right now. I have never set up a blog. I am 36 years old and I am behind on technology in some ways. I do have a smartphone, a laptop, and Netflix, so that is good enough for me. I have a daughter who is almost 9 years old. That is so crazy to me because I remember when I was 9. I don’t have a ton of memories from when I was younger. Most of them are from 9 and on. This worries me. Now she will actually remember stuff. Before, when she was younger, I always thought it sucked that she was too little to remember stuff like all the fun things I did with her…Disneyland, festivals, water slides, etc. Now I am worried I may mess up and she will remember. Talk about me to her therapist years from now.
Actually, she already has a therapist. She probably already vents about me. Abigail is like a teenager. She is 8 going on 16. We get along for the most part but she is set off easily. Between her and I, we have a lot going on in our heads and don’t always know how to work through it. We are figuring it out together. If I never had her I don’t think I would have had as much self discovery. She has opened my eyes to a lot of things, mainly mental health awareness.
Everyone needs to be better educated and more aware of mental health. It is just as important as physical health. Anyway, I digress. It is almost 8pm and past my bedtime. I will have plenty of time to get on my soapbox about mental health and my journey so far. For now, this is good enough. I am not even going to proof read it or look up synonyms.