I feel like I am not a very talented person. I mean, I have some things I guess some people might call “talents” but it isn’t anything cool. I can’t sing, dance, play an instrument, perform magic tricks or parallel park very well. I am trying to keep positive on things and so I thought about what I can do, instead of what I cannot do.
I know how to type very fast. I learned how to type on a typewriter when I was 11 years old, in 7th grade. This was when we used typewriters instead of keyboards. I guess now it is called keyboarding class instead of typing class? I remember this was something I really wanted to learn. I remember my mom would type up my book reports for school and I thought it was so cool that she could type without looking at the keys. I was able to catch on to typing pretty quick, when back then, some people didn’t even look at this as being something essential.
Now I can type about 72-75 wpm and even faster when I am typing straight from my thoughts. I actually prefer typing over writing by hand. My hand gets too tired and then my handwriting gets all sloppy and I have to keep stretching because I feel cramped in my wrist and fingers. Yet, when I type, I can usually keep up with my brain and I haven’t had any issues with the ergonomics of typing. I am lucky to not have carpal tunnel and other things that happen when you type for a living.
I guess another talent would be that I am great at multi tasking. I never thought that was a talent until I worked with people who didn’t have that skill. I multi task all the time. My brain is constantly multi tasking, organizing, prioritizing, analyzing, etc. This is annoying and OCD, but it is also what helps me to do my best at work. I just need to learn when it is really needed and when it isn’t needed.
I am pretty organized when I want to be. I have a box where I put all my important papers and it isn’t filed away all nice. Yet at work I am extremely organized electronically and all my paper files, etc. I have gotten really, really good at documentation and organizing documentation, when it is necessary.
I am good at over analyzing things and keeping up on documentation. This has really come in handy when needed to recognize trends or patterns at both work and my home life with Abigail. I have a white board calendar at home and each day we put Abigail’s final score from school on the board. Her score is between 0-100 every day. In January, she got high scores in the 90’s and even a few 100’s. For some reason on February 1st, she had a really bad day and only got a 63. The past couple days she has gotten in the 80’s. Anyway, I have been keeping track of these numbers every day for over a year (two school years actually). At the end of each month, I take a photo of the white board before erasing it and setting it up for the following month. It is nice to look back and see progress, even if it is just a little bit.
The scores sometimes are random, sometimes I can see if something that happened at school or home has affected her scores/behavior for the day. I can also see if there is a pattern as far as which days she tends to do better and which days are harder. I also get an email at the end of each day from her teacher giving me a short summary of her day and her score. If anything really out of the ordinary happens he calls me and gives me details over the phone.
The other day she had a meltdown and she threw over the big rolling trash can in the room and things escalated and she ended up having to be restrained. They are trained as a special education department to restrain children if they are causing harm to themselves or others. This was difficult for me at first but now I know it is needed at times. I still hate it, but this is what is best to keep her safe and others too. Anyway, so they held her and after about ten minutes she was tired. She relaxed and started crying. These episodes used to last hours. Usually about 3-4 hours long of struggling, kicking, cussing, crying, yelling, threatening, etc. But now, it only took a total of about 20-25 minutes for the entire incident. Also, she cleaned up her mess after she calmed down. That used to trigger her back into another episode when she was asked to clean up her mess. Another thing is she used to do was never talk about the negative things that happened at school. She would either lie about it or she would become angry, defensive and violent if you even asked how her day was. She would use this to avoid talking about it or even remembering it. She felt remorse, but didn’t show it. She showed it by being embarrassed or confused, but her embarrassment and confusion showed up as anger and violence.
Now, she tells me how her day was on her own. I will ask how was her day and she will say “It was good, but there were a few mishaps.” She actually said that to me yesterday. This girl uses the coolest words sometimes. It is like talking to a grown up sometimes. She has a very high IQ, last time she was tested anyway. She was 6 years old and had an IQ of 132. The school said they had to bring out test booklets that they hadn’t used in 10 years. She is going through her triennial IEP testing now so I am excited to see how she has progressed emotionally, socially, academically, cognitively, etc.
I love knowing all this stuff and then analyzing it. I feel like I have more control over things if I do that. I also know now, that I am on medication for my anxiety, that I don’t have control over everything. Some things I need to just relax, not think about it, and just give it time. You never know why things work out the way they do, until you do know. That can be years from now. Sometimes you will never know. You have to trust God that He has a plan for you, not to harm you but to help you, because he loves you.